


Drinks and Disaster

by BloodFrost



Category: Kylo Ren - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), kylux - Fandom
Genre: Comedy, Domestic, Domestic Disputes, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Kylux, Funny, Funny Kylux, Gay, General Hux - Freeform, Humor, Idiots in Love, Kissing, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren and General Hux - Freeform, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Soft Kylux, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015) - Freeform, Sweet Kylux, The First Order, being in love, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 20:36:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11905749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodFrost/pseuds/BloodFrost
Summary: (short story)General Hux is mostly happy with his position in The First Order, but still. Sometimes he has a desire to merge and mingle with his fun, upbeat subordinates. Hux is hardly ever invited to the fancy cocktail parties or even to have drinks with his fellow co-workers, mostly because everybody assumes that he, being the right hand of Snoke himself, is 'above' all of that.Looking to change his circumstances, one night, General Hux decides to have some guests over for drinks and refreshments. He hopes that by inviting a few people to his home, it will be seen that he's just as nice and laid-back as anybody else, and that word will spread about the kind of man he really is.There's just one itty bitty problem:If Hux is Snoke's right hand, then his boyfriend, Lord Kylo Ren, would be the difficult left hand. He and Kylo recently started living together, and Kylo is less than thrilled at the prospect of "entertaining" individuals whom he feels aren't even worth the time to think about.It's a bit of a reverse-case of "I can dress you up, but I can't take you anywhere!"





	Drinks and Disaster

So far, Hux's first foray into a small social gathering was going quite smoothly.

His guests were impressed by his tastefully decorated apartment, and all of them were enjoying both the delicious wine and the light, pleasant music that was playing in the background. Conversation flowed easily, and his guests seemed to be pleasantly surprised with how funny and charming Hux could be, outside of a work setting.

He had invited two of his coworkers over, Lieutenant Tormund and Captain Armelia, along with their wives, for this little gathering.

But as hard as he was trying to make the evening a good one for everyone involved, there seemed one person determined to drag his feet through their good time: Kylo Ren.

When Hux had told Kylo of his plans, and spent hours cleaning and preparing food for the event, Kylo had hardly been helpful or receptive. He complained about being made to dress up, he complained about not being allowed to sample the yummy food Hux was making, and he complained about being told to "please be nice, for the love of the Maker" to Hux's guests.

He had fidgeted as Hux forcibly dressed him in the stiff, uncomfortable clothes he had picked out for Ren to wear, and when the little group arrived at the door, his expression had been one of reluctance rather than hospitality.

While the women talked to each other, Captain Armelia was regaling the men in the room with puffed-up tales of a battle he and a squad of men had recently been sent on.

"I have to say, General, that we undoubtedly have the finest army in the galaxy. They're so well trained, and loyal, and expert weapons handlers."

As Hux and Lieutenant Tormund nodded and vocalized their assent, Kylo sat up straight with a frown.

"Personally, I think your army would be better if they were trained on a variety of weapons, rather than the standard blasters. Snoke thinks so, too; in fact, he thinks some groups would benefit from becoming lightsaber-proficient, such as I am."

The Captain shook his head slightly.

"No offense to you or The Supreme Leader, but I don't feel that would be a productive use of The First Order's monetary or training resources. Besides, I always imagined that a lightsaber would put one at an inconvenience during a battle. It's such a personalized thing; you have to get right up on a person in order for it to be effective, do you not? Blasters seem a bit quicker, and a bit more . . . humanitarian."

"Not really. Have you ever seen what a man's guts look like after they've been seared by a lightsaber? It's actually quite clean. Neat, and clean."

"Kylo," Hux began nervously; but Kylo ignored him and pushed on:

"Now blasters are another story entirely. They'll rupture major organs and completely tear apart your insides. And they're not always a guarantee of a quick, merciful death. Some people live for hours, sometimes whole days, after a shot with a blaster. But every second that they live is just one screaming, howling torment of pain and agonizing suffering."

He paused here to take a sip of his wine, seemingly oblivious to the horrified stares that everyone was giving him.

"Of course, if you want to talk pure efficiency, **flamethrowers** are what I'd bet my credits on. They're . . ."

At this point, Hux loudly cleared his throat and interrupted him.

"I think the refreshments are about ready. I'll go and get them. Kylo, be a dear and help me, please?", he asked, and before Kylo could respond Hux had him by the arm and all but yanked him into the kitchen.

Hux waited until the door slid shut behind them, then turned to Kylo and said, through gritted teeth: 

"Lord Ren. For the love of Vader, please, _please_ stop making tonight difficult!"

Kylo leaned against the counter and pouted. 

"Difficult? I thought that I was being quite friendly," he said, taking a long pull from the wine bottle in front of him. "I'd say that my stories are both entertaining and informative. I should think you could appreciate the effort I'm making, here, Hux."

"Effort? You call talking about eviscerated corpses to be 'effort'? Are you blind or did you not see the look on their faces?!"

"I've already told you, _General_ Hux, that I don't want to be here. Those ugnauts out there are pretentious pieces of bantha fodder, and I want nothing to do with them. If you want to spend all evening with your lips suctioned to their behinds, that's _your_ business, **not** mine."

Hux glared at him angrily as he began cutting slices of the jogan-fruit cake, and adding the plates artfully around the center of tarts. 

"For once, just _once_ , can you try not to be so kriffing selfish?", he hissed at him. "This is **important** to me, and I should think that would be enough to get you to behave!"

"'Behave'"?, Kylo repeated with a sneer. "What the kriff are you talking about, 'behave'? What am I, a child?!"

"Oh, no; I'm positive that a child would have infinitely better decorum than you, Ren. Certainly better manners."

Kylo scowled and popped one of the tarts into his mouth, chewing angrily. 

"If I'm such a problem, can't I just go back into the bedroom until they leave? I'M not the one they're here to see."

"No!", Hux all but shouted. Making himself lower his voice, he handed the tray of tarts to Kylo and said "You are going to come back out there with me. You will sit beside me, and you won't speak unless somebody speaks to you first. You'll smile, and laugh at their jokes. You'll make _pleasant_ conversation. No talk about death, or battle, or torture. And at the end of it all, you'll shake everyone's hand and wish them a pleasant evening. Do I make myself clear?"

Kylo just sighed, and nodded. He stuck a big, false smile on his face as he carried the tray back out to their guests, setting it gently on the table. 

As everybody ate, drank and talked, Kylo just sat there, like a stone. He made no moves to partake in either food or drink, and the only words he spoke were short, polite responses to any questions directed at him.

There came a point in the evening, after Madame Tormund had one glass of wine too many, that she turned to Kylo and asked,

"Can you show us a magic trick?"

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her, and before he even opened his mouth, Hux could _feel_ the hot anger radiating off of him in waves. If it was one thing Kylo hated, that he loathed, was hearing his Force abilities referred to as 'magic'.

"Madame," Hux began, subtly putting his hand on Kylo's arm, to try and keep him calm, "I believe Lord Ren is a bit tired this evening. I don't feel he would be up to--"

"Nonsense, Hux," Kylo said, shaking off Hux's arm. The calm, controlled way Kylo's voice was coming out made Hux worry even more. "If the lady wants to see a _magic_ trick, I'm more than _delighted_ to oblige."

He turned towards her, his eyes snapping brown sparks that she, being fairly tipsy, didn't notice.

"What would you like to see, mi'lady?" 

"I've heard you people are quite adept at using the mind to manipulate the minds of other people. Can we see something like that?"

Oh, dear Maker. This was going south, and faster than Hux could control.

Another strike.

Kylo hated the phrase "you people" in terms of himself and other Force-users.

But Kylo just kept that tight smile on his face and said "How about we do something I like to call "The Truth Game?"

"The Truth Game?", asked the Lieutenant, takin another sip of his drink. "What's that?"

"It's simple, really. You let somebody in the room ask you a question, any question at all. I go into your heads, and force you to tell the truth about what you were just asked, with no filters."

"Kylo, I don't think--", Hux started to say.

"What's so special about that?", asked Madame Tormund from beside her husband."

Kylo smiled. "Some people find it very difficult, to accept truths. Others are surprised by what comes out of the mouths of those they _think_ that they know. A lot of people can't handle it."

Everybody scoffed at that, at the word "handle". 

"Nonsense," said the Lieutenant gruffly. "I have nothing to hide; I always speak my mind."

He turned towards his wife.

"Go ahead, dear, ask me something. Let's see if you can 'handle' my response," he challenged with a smirk.

"Alright," said his wife, smiling. She set down her drink and thought a second. Eventually she asked, lightly,

"What do you think of my new dress? When I asked you earlier, you didn't give me a clear answer about whether you liked it or not. Do you?"

Kylo focused his gaze on the Lieutenant Tormund, and within a few seconds, the man began to shake. Turning towards his wife, he growled out "You look so unpleasantly fat tonight that it's making me physically ill. I've told you time and time again that light colors look repulsive on your skin, but your vain stupidity refuses to let you listen to reason!"

He immediately clapped his hand over his mouth, shocked that those words had spilled out of him. Nobody knew what to say; and then Madame Tormund was answering him angrily,

"How dare you, you over-bearing tyrant! At least my manners are better! You're sitting there with bluefruit jam stuck in your beard and wine stains on those horrible false teeth of yours, and you have the gall to criticize my appearance?!"

Kylo focused his gaze on Lady Armelia, and before she could stop herself she was blurting out "At least YOUR husband still looks relatively young. People see me with this guy and wonder if he's my karking GRANDFATHER!", she exclaimed, jerking a thumb at her surprised-looking husband. Captain Armelia sat up straight and pointed a finger back at his wife. 

"Oh, come off it, Hedda! Everybody here knows you married me for my money, you gold-digging whore. You've never cared about my looks so long as I bought you all these furs and jewels!"

"Whore? WHORE?! Don't talk to ME about whores! You must have been through every house of ill repute in this entire galaxy! I'm amazed I haven't caught anything from your undoubtedly disease-ridden body, yet!"

Now everybody in the group was screaming at one another, and Hux was trying frantically to salvage the evening.

In a heated spasm, Lady Armelia, crying, picked up what remained of the wine bottle and poured it out over her husband's head. Then she and Madame Tormund left in a huff, leaving their stunned-looking husbands on the couch.

The Captain turned angrily towards the Lieutenant, and shook his fist in his face, saying "This is all your and fault, you classless pig!"

"Classless pig? Pretty big words for somebody who slept their way up the chain of command, Captain! What do you think that wife of yours would say, if she knew THAT?"

A few seconds after that the two men began to rain blows on each other, and Hux, quietly, unobtrusively got up and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

Kylo quickly broke up the fight after that, mentally throwing the two men out in their asses in the hallway.

He guiltily began to clean up the awful mess in the living room, taking his time and being meticulously neat and detailed.

Really, he didn't care about the mess. But he was afraid to go in the bedroom and face Hux, who was undoubtedly upset at his disaster of an evening.

When he could put it off no longer, Kylo braced himself and went into the room, preparing himself for the yelling he was sure was waiting for him. Even, possibly, tears. If it was tears he was going to encounter, he wasn't sure how he'd endure that. He hated to see Hux truly upset over anything.

So he was beyond surprised to walk into the bedroom and see Hux, sitting on the edge of the bed, not crying but laughing hysterically. He was rocking back and forth and holding his sides, his face red with mirth.

Kylo watched him for a few minutes warily, not sure if this was a trick of some kind. After seeing that Hux's humorous mood seemed to be genuine, he sat down cautiously beside him.

"So -- I take it you're not angry at me?"

Hux shook his head, struggling to calm himself. When he finally got himself under some semblance of control, he grabbed Kylo's hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I think that may be the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life," he told Kylo, stifling back another chortle. "I guess -- I guess you were right; those weren't the kind of people I should want to be around."

"Still, I'm sorry, Hux. Right or not I should be more respectful of your wishes. But next time," he said, playfully, "I AM just going to stay in here. I think that'd be safer for everyone."

"I suppose I really can't disagree with that," Hux said; and they both started to laugh.

After a few moments of this, Hux looked at him and said "Can I ask you something?"

Kylo nodded.

"Okay. I know it's not magic, but--HOW did you do that? Get them to say all those things?"

"Oh, its relatively easy, actually. I focused energy on the part of their brains that houses truths, and made the floodgates open, so to speak. Then I influenced them to lower their social inhibitions and just let everything out."

Hux shook his head and whistled softly. "Well, I have to admit, it was impressive."

Now he clutched Ren's hand and spoke excitedly.

"Can you do that to me?"

"What? Why?"

"Come on, it'll be fun! Or are you afraid of what I'd have to say about you?"

"Okay," Kylo said, playfully staring at Hux. He wasn't going to actually do it, he was merely play-acting with Hux. "Give me the truth."

Hux scrunched up his face and pretended to be under Kylo's mind control.

"Sometimes I really really hate you. You do and say such stupid things that all I want to do is punch you in the face. You're obnoxious, you lack even the most basic elements of manners or breeding. You snore, your eating habits are atrocious, and you're not exactly the kindest soul in the galaxy. But the final thing I despise about you: you have my heart. Stole it, in fact, when I was neither expecting nor prepared for it. You rescued me, when I didn't even know I needed to be rescued. And you make me happier than I ever knew it was possible to be. I don't believe in 'forevers', but dammit, that's how long I'm gong to love you for, whether you like it or not."

Then he leaned in close to the stunned Kylo, and whispered in his ear,

"Also, one final-final truth: I really want to take you to bed. I was actually hoping you'd do something to end this little party early, because I've been unable to get the desire out of my mind all night."

Kylo looked down at his hands, feeling uncharacteristically choked up. After a few minutes, he said

"What if I don't feel like sleeping with you?"

Hux leaned over into Kylo's face, pressing their foreheads together. He gave Kylo the same gaze he had given him, pretending he was pulling thoughts from the knight's mind.

"MY powers say you're lying," Hux said, positioning his lips until they were inches away from Kylo's.

"You're so right," Kylo said, attacking the redhead's lips and pushing him backwards into the soft bed.


End file.
